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Alec: So let’s get this straight. This is a real work email from a lawyer at the law firm where you’re employed, yeah?

Alec: Yeah.

Alec: And he’s actually trying to be considerate here?

Alec: Yeah, I mean, I don’t think it’s a joke. There’s no way, right?

Alec: Yeah, no. There’s no way.

Alec: But they sent this at 11:18 p.m. Like, that’s joking hour, yeah? You joke around in work emails at that point because it’s after hours.

Alec: Yeah, man, but where are the “haha”s?

Alec: You’re right.

Alec: This guy is for real.

Alec: Fuck.

Alec: I mean, I complain about my job, and I do this a lot, and I do this thoroughly. Like, I’ve covered every angle of it, and I’m tired of hearing myself say the same few things over and over and over again, but the whole act blows off steam.

Alec: Yeah.

Alec: Maybe you do something similar?

Alec: Yeah, yeah. It’s all bad news. It’s all bad times.

Alec: But emails like this one justify talking shit.

Alec: Absolutely. Say any negative thing you feel. It’s your blog.

Alec: Yeah, yeah. Thanks. —

The sense of nobility in it is the worst part.

That, and that it was sent so late, and that I had to read it so late.

Alec: Well, he’s on the west coast.

Alec: Still, man, come on.

It reminds me of those dudes who want everybody to throw out all their stuff.

Alec: The minimalists?

Alec: Yeah.

Like, I get it, and they’re not totally off-base, but the whole identity created from it is annoying, and it’s become this way for dudes with money to act self-righteous and write books.

Alec: Yeah, man, you tell ‘em. ; )

Alec: Seriously.

Alec: I know, I know. Just fucking with you.

Alec: But, like, who is he being noble for? The private equity firm that’ll hire him? I mean, fuck. Charge that thing all the money you can get. He doesn’t work for the little guy.

Alec: Yeah. But that’s lawyers. Being a lawyer is a way to harbor respect and appear beneficial while pulling cash and being a fuck.

Alec: So you think he’s just doing it for himself?

Alec: I think he’s just doing it for himself.

Alec: Yeah. —

I guess we all are.

Alec: Hey, hey, bud. Don’t compare us to this fucking guy. We are not this guy.

This guy sits somewhere out in Silicon Valley and pats himself on the back for being apart of something “disruptive” or “innovative.” He’s out there everyday in California working his time away for another big business, to lead the way, to get the bones moving, thinking he’ll help remodel history, pocketing more green, selling another smile, thinking he’s so conscious of the world surrounding him, but he doesn’t know anything. I mean, he doesn’t know anything, and maybe he knows he knows nothing, but he won’t admit it, especially not to himself. You know?

We can admit that. He can’t.

The dude’s a wash. He’s another suit and tie thinking he really matters.

Alec: But can’t an argument be made that he really does? Like, considering the shape and play of our day-to-day life, driven by business, the dude is able to navigate all this much more than we can.

He’s probably got connections.

Alec: Fuck his connections. You’re not listening. This guy sucks. The email makes that clear.

Alec: But how can we say that if we, admittedly, don’t know anything?

Alec: Omg

Alec: Also, this format is getting old. It’s done its thing.

Alec: Look: Yeah, we don’t know what this guy’s childhood was like. We don’t know his beliefs, or what sad things have happened to him that have defined his perspective, or what his mom made him do, or what his frat made him do, or what America has made him do. It’s entirely possible the guy doesn’t actually suck but is just existing how he knows best to, just like so many of us, trying and trying and trying. And, yes, it’s simplistic to sit here and say tired things about wealth inequality or capitalism or corporate greed or recite the typical criticisms of the typical narrative of the typical individual in this country. I get you, man. I do. I hesitate to be that way, too. I like to consider things with some nuance.

But, look, you sat up late some Tuesday night and read this email and you had a reaction. A “fuck this guy, he sucks” reaction. You felt that, yes?

Alec: Yeah. But —

Alec: Own it. Just own it. That’s your perspective. And it isn’t even permanent. It was momentary, specific to an event. Let yourself have it.

Alec: Why is this about me now?

Alec: Idk

Alec: You know what else?

Alec: What?

Alec: I want to get this on the record now. —

In six months everybody will be wearing big rain jackets all the time. Like, that’ll be the look. I guarantee it. Hot girls in rain jackets.

Alec: Alright, yeah. Hot girls in rain jackets. Let’s go.

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